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Simple Jokes

I love jokes that are short and you can tell anyone. I keep forgetting them, so I’ve decided to create a page so I don’t lose them. Enjoy!

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl have a wee? Because the “P” is silent.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble

What did the cheeky boy ghost say to the group of female bumblebees? Boo bees!!

Two men walked into a pub, one had a poodle and one had a labradoor. They noticed on the door it said ‘No dogs’. So they agreed to pretend to be blind. So they walked in and the bar man shouted “Sorry guys, no dogs”. One man replied “This labradoor is my guidedog”, so the barman said OK. But he said to the other man “Sorry, poodles aren’t guide dogs so you cant come in.” So the man with the poodle replied “What? They’ve given me a bloody poodle as a guide dog?”